Well, this was a quick fight, my friends (check out rounds one and two). I went to Sheetz today to speak with Brian as requested, and after a brief conversation mimicking the one we had on the phone (we were both professional, I swear), Brian decided to give me a gift for my troubles…

Coupons! (Or… Couponz, I guess)

Yahtzee! These babies never expire and are good at all Sheetz locations (even ones without flies). I did the math… this could potentially be worth $15… or more, depending on what I choose. One of the options is 2 hot dogs… a $.99 meal. Do you really think I’m going to pick hot dogs when I can have a 4 Dollar Quesadilla? This has been an exciting, emotional ride. Cheers to Brian and Sheetz for being so quick and professional about the whole thing!

Oh, and on the way out, I spotted a few fly strips, out of the customer’s line of sight (I had to sneak around to see them). Now, I don’t want to take credit for the idea, but… No, they definitely stole my fly strip out of sight idea. Flattering, Brian. I would destroy as a gas station manager.

Alright, big news!

Just got a call from BRIAN today (manager of the offending Sheetz store). After a profuse, long and humane apology, Brian invited me to Sheetz tomorrow morning to have a chat with him. He mentioned there would be FOOD COUPONS in it for me if I showed up.

Much respect for Brian for being a man and stepping up to the plate to fix the problem. He reported to me that Ehrlich reported to him that the store had 80% less flies. How did he come up with this number? God only knows. But it sounds good to me.

I will update tomorrow and report on all of the wonderful gifts I receive from Mr. Brian. This one’s just about over, and it looks like it’s gonna finish awesomely.

Oh, he also told me the letter was “very well written.” I thought I was being mean. Score.

Okay. So I’m keen on traveling around some more, shooting more pictures and getting more photo essays on here. But while we wait for that to materialize, sometimes life happens. Misfortune continues to follow me wherever I go. The other day I had my first poor Sheetz experience of my life. For those of you that don’t know, Sheetz is (usually) an epic gas station that serves delicious food. The story is chronicled in the following e-mail I wrote to the company today:

To whom it may concern:

Yesterday, on my way to New York from my home in Pennsylvania for a graduation party (my good friend Tracey’s, congratulations to her), I stopped at a Sheetz with the following address:

14350 Kutztown Rd (US-222)

Moselem Springs Rd

Fleetwood, PA 19522

I’d been in there hundreds of times before (I used to go every day in high school and buy Liquid Z and Steak & Worcestershire Potato Chips, but that’s another wonderful story), and have always had wonderful experiences (experiences that have trumped experiences with what I used to consider an inferior competitor, Wawa). However, this time was very, very different.

I was going in to take money out and to order MTO food for the trip. I got my money out fine, but when I went to order food, I noticed (literally) no less than 20-30 giant flies flying and buzzing all over the store, perhaps even more. The fly-to-people ratio was, with a conservative estimate, something like 3-1. It wasn’t only that, though. Your employees, in their vain, ignorant attempts to rid the store of the flies, were simply using newspapers to smack their insides all over the walls of the gas station.

This isn’t the kind of environment that sustains my respect for this company, let alone my appetite. I left without ordering because I was completely disgusted by the scenario. At a normal, run-down, food-less gas station, it would be something I wouldn’t even think about. But at a gas station that serves fresh, hot food, it’s a big problem.

I understand it’s summertime, and the flies – they love the summertime. But there are many, many things you can do to keep flies out of your store; and if they do get in, there are more sanitary ways to get rid of them (fly strips out of the customer’s line of sight, perhaps?)

I’m not planning on going back until I’m assured this has been taken care of. Like I said, I’ve never had a bad experience before, and I love Sheetz to death (your Shmonster is a top ten food worldwide, in my humble opinion), but this situation is out of control.

I’m not the only one who has noticed it, too. My brother just asked me if I’d been there recently (after I hunted down, caught, and cleanly destroyed a fly that was in my own house), and I knew right away what he was going to say.

I understand you’re trying to get bodies into your gas stations, but unless they’re ALL human (seeing eye dogs as well, gotta take care of the blind), you’re not going to be making a lot of money. Please take care of this! Thank you so much.

Sincerely,

Luke Kingma

Well.

It’s been a long, rough road since I bought that of Cheese Nips that set off a violent feud between Nabisco and I. However, I’m here to report that the feud has ended, and I am more than victorious. (if you haven’t read the original Luke vs. Nabisco post yet, it’s here: http://www.yeahhedid.com/?p=21)

I’ve been waiting a long time to share this moment with you, so allow me to bask in this for a second.

…Okay.

Here we go.

Kraft (Nabisco’s parent company I guess, cleaning up its child’s mess as usual) decided to take my e-mail seriously (thank God).

They sent me this letter:

Fair enough, but where’s my compensation?

Oh, wait, there’s something else in the envelope:

Score! And notice the particulars – I can choose any Nabisco cookies or crackers. I don’t even have to buy Cheese Nips again, which is good, because I was running out of condescending words to use in what would’ve been another complaint letter to Nabisco. Not only that, it’s worth $4.49! 3 times what I paid for my Cheese Nips. $3 profit for an e-mail that was very enjoyable to write isn’t bad. I consider this my first victory. There will be more. Trust me.

Oh, and on the back of the coupon?

Kraft’s other affiliates. They probably see this as an opportunity to show me the other great products that I can buy from under the Kraft umbrella. I see it as a black list. Shame, because A1 sauce is awesome.

For some reason, I can never have a normal experience buying anything. This is a quick one, and since I was in no mood for a company to not care about me, I was quick, sharp, and biting. E-mail number 1 (me to them):

Hi, I recently ordered a Medium sized Bayern-Muenchen home jersey and a 08/09 England Rugby Home Shirt (also size Medium). My order number was “Order Number: 124209″

I received the Bayern-Muenchen jersey a few weeks ago, but still have not received my English Rose home shirt, nor have I even gotten any updates at all on the order. If it has not been shipped yet, I’d immediately like a refund. If it has shipped, there’s obviously nothing I can do. Either way, I’m extraordinarily disappointed in the poor quality of service I’ve received from your shop.

Thank you.

-Luke Kingma

I know, it’s mean, but sometimes you have to be. I received a pretty quick response:

Hello,

I am happy to confirm that your refund is now being processed, although please note that it may take a week or so to show up on your card statement.

If you have any questions or queries relating to your refund don’t hesitate to ask.

Regards,
Biju

Ha. Biju. You expect me to believe you’re a real person? Most people would stop here, and were it not for that final, kick in the groin sentence, I would’ve. I needed the last word. I always will:

If I want to wait 1/4 of a year for something I want to buy, maybe I’ll check you guys out again. Or maybe I’ll just order from another store that actually knows how to run a business. Cheers.

-Luke Kingma

I’m doing this so you don’t have to. Cross UKSoccerShop off your Christmas websites list.